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In the last part of our series, Pedagogue Sevil Gumus says: “Your children play with real life and develop the skills necessary for this life. To do this, it needs a rich resource, that is, any kind of toy. For this reason, allow children to play freely with all kinds of toys without any discrimination between girls and boys for a healthy sexual identity development. ”
What can you do for your child to develop a healthy sexual identity? Before explaining these concepts, what is sexual identity? Pedagogue Sevil Gümüş says: “Sexual identity the perception of the individual's own body and self within a certain gender, acceptance, feelings, attitudes and behaviors in accordance with the sexual identity. In other words, sexual identity indicates the gender within which an individual perceives himself / herself. Sexual role is the way of showing the sexual identity of the individual in the inner world by expressing behaviors and discourses. An individual who does not have sexual identity problems defines himself as ”I am a man” or “I am a woman”. ”
Some parents their sons Seeing a baby playing with “Alas! is there a problem with our boy and he plays with babies? ve and with this concern, this is the way girls prefer to play. with toys He does not allow his sons to play. In this way, they think that they support their son to develop a healthy sexual identity. However, they do not support the child to develop a healthy sexual identity and do not realize that it restricts the child with these behaviors.
Pedagogue Sevil Gümüş says: “Children are born with impulses and differences specific to their biological sex and develop naturally as their sexual identity grows. For example, a research has never played with cars before male child playing with cars with innate impulse and predisposition; A girl who has never played with babies has shown that she prefers to play with babies. So to the child “you are a man, play with cars; You're a girl, play with dolls ”there is no need to direct. At the same time, there is no rule that boys should only play with cars and girls should only play with babies. However, I don't know why when it comes to buying gifts, if the child is a boy, a car is taken, and a girl is a baby. Even if a baby is bought to a boy, it is perceived as an insult, and it is acceptable to buy a car instead of a baby. If a girl plays with cars again “Alas! my daughter is acting like a boy ”we don't worry but if a boy is playing with a baby, we run to the pedagogue immediately because there is a problem here. In fact, the whole point is that we are concerned that the boy does not behave like a man. Because the place of boys in our society is very important and the distinction between boys and girls comes from here. We teach children the role of girls and boys by giving these secret messages from infancy, who is more important. ”
Is it really a manifestation of sexual identity disorder or a natural process of healthy sexual development? Should the father, who saw him playing with the babies, be really worried about his son? The answer is: için To better understand this, you first need to know what “play ifade means to the child. The game for the child is life itself. The child revives the real life through play and lives his reality in the game. He solves a problem that he cannot solve through the game, handles internal conflicts through the game and gains many skills by playing. ”
The Role of Toys
Toys real life is a rich resource to revive. For example, in order to portray the mother who is cooking, the child can simulate one of the babies by making the mother a child and the other by child and various kitchen toys to simulate the preparation of her mother's food and play the current events through play. Therefore, children should be given the opportunity to play with all kinds of toys without discriminating between boys and girls.
Playing with babies is not an indicator of sexual identity crisis, but rather a healthy personality development. Because the child plays with the baby girl mother, the baby boy himself and shows that the child perceives differences in sexual identity. Another example is that a girl plays with a construction machine and revives her father's profession while her father makes her baby boy play with a ladle. This shows that the girl perceives gender differences, not that she acts like a man because she plays with a ladle. The more types of toys you offer to children without discriminating between boys and girls, the more environment you create for a child to develop a healthy sexual identity.
On the contrary, if you worry about this, you can ban and judge your child, you can cause complexity of sexual identity. For example, a boy who wants to play with babies, ”Are you a girl playing with babies” to take the baby away from the hands of the child, does not reduce the interest of the baby on the contrary increases. Since she cannot play with babies as much as she wants and forbids them to play with babies, the interest in babies increases gradually, she does not care about other toys and does not enjoy playing with toys that men play.
Because he didn't play with the baby enough and that didn't get enough. If you become conscious about this and do not put it in prohibitions, you will observe that the boy playing with the babies has less interest in the babies and plays with their cars again.
As parents, we make similar mistakes and restrict our children and prevent them from developing a healthy sexual identity.
Recommendations for Families for Healthy Sexual Identity Development:
- Mom dad Before you comment on the toys and games your children play, you should think once and avoid words that reinforce the separation of roles. For example, you should not cause a child to feel ashamed by saying, alıp Are you a girl or playing house with babies?
You should buy your children all kinds of toys and let them play the game of their choice. You should not hesitate to buy a car for a girl or a baby for a boy. Play for children is life itself and they need rich resources, all kinds of toys, to acquire the skills necessary for life. By judging the toys and games they play, you should give them the opportunity to play freely instead of making them feel ashamed of it.
Children should be given the same duties and responsibilities without discriminating between boys and girls. The boy can also help his mother prepare food. The girl can go to watch a match with her father and shout ”goool”. Remember how you teach the definition of these roles with your behavior and reinforce it at every opportunity.
You can also help your children understand biological differences by reading health books and various story books.
You must respect children's choices and decisions. If a girl wants to go to a karate course, karar you're going to go to a karate course, erkek or if a boy has the ability to dance and wants to go to a dance course, karar you're going to a girl or a dance course, yerine you'll have to respect your decisions. You should give children the opportunity to develop their talents and to reveal their strengths.
You should keep in mind that the divisions of sexual roles and prejudices by the society limit children's abilities. For example, the prejudice developed by the society, “Boys are very good in mathematics, girls are not good kız will cause the girl to accept failure from the beginning and say“ Girls are not good at maths anyway “.
- Adı Alas! my son is acting like a girl. ın Don't let your child feel ashamed and restrict himself by doing so by reacting. In this way, your behavior prevents the development of a healthy sexual identity. There are innate sexual predispositions and urges of boys and girls. This tendency and sexual identity naturally manifests itself over time in the process of development. The boy who plays with his babies will soon turn to cars and other toys that boys are interested in. It is therefore unnecessary to worry.
In short, we develop all these distinctions, prejudices and stereotypes, and we teach children through our interpretations and behaviors. If you are aware of this, you will support the healthy sexual development of your child.